Final Destination

Okay. So today I had to take my mom to the hospital to see the doctor about her foot. So after everything was done, we were on our way back home, and: WE ALMOST GOT HIT BY A CAR!!! The way the whole thing happened was, we were in the two-lane section of it, and then this other car and a cop were getting on the interstate. So this car on the side of me, I guess she freaked out seeing the cop, and proceeded to get over RIGHT THEN and almost hit me, my mom, AND my daughter! I was so scared because even though me and my mom were in the car, all I could think about was my daughter!

Then while I was on my way to take my (future) boo's house to take him to work, I almost got in TWO MORE accidents! Then on the way back home I almost got hit two more times! And this all happened while I was driving civilized! I just didn't get it. I REALLY felt like the devil was out to get me and I really felt like I should've been in Final Destination! I'm just glad that I'm ok and that everyone else is as well....

Mr. Jay Hew

Okay, so this poem is copyrighted, so DON'T try to steal it or plagiarize it! But this poem is about someone I went to to school with. Yes, I know that putting it on here means that he's able to read it, but I don't care anymore. I'm trying to move on with my life and let him go, so this is one of my ways of doing it. So, here goes! Tell me if you like it....

Mr. Jay-Hew

He appeared right before my eyes

Yet to me, he went unnoticed

There was nothing intriguing about him

Not one thing he possessed made me wonder, "Who is he?"

Almost all the girls wanted him, they longed to be by his side

They wanted to be able to look at him and tell their friends, "I know him," or "We hang out," if not, "He's mine"

But when it came down to me, I didn't care about who he was or where he came from

Because in my eyes, he was just another guy

Not this guy from San Diego, or wherever he was from, who plays ball for the school's basketball team

Just an average guy

But Satan has his way of bringing you into contact with things that are no good for you

For our paths crossed at the wrong place, and most definitely at the wrong time

Sure, back then, it seemed right cuz I was naive

He came off as this nice, sweet, charming, and caring guy

He had an amazing sense of humor and he listened to what I had to say

If it were any other guy, I would have picked up on his game easily

But I let my guard down too early and let him in a little bit too quickly

Trying to find out about who he was and what he was about after, instead of before, I let him have a piece, well really -- the best, if not all, of me

It lasted for a minute, but of course, it wasn't meant to last

He quickly moved on, but a part of me was still stuck in our past

He had finally come clean about a love back home

And I had to let him go so my feelings that I had for him wouldn't grow anymore than they had already grown

So I removed myself from his life

And kept myself busy so I wouldn't be tempted to call

I would see him around, and sometimes I still do

But I promised myself to NEVER, EVER again --- fall for another Mr. Jay Hew....

-March 3, 2008 ~ 4:04 pm

Much luv,
Youneaq
*SMOOCHES*

Wal*Mart?!?

Can you guys believe this???



Comment, PLEASE....

Friend or Foe? Forgive or No?

So here’s the deal: I have been dealing with a “friend” of mine that I don’t feel was really a “friend” in the first place. When we first crossed paths, it was through people at school, and also one of her relatives. So, like I normally do since I am SUCH a friendly person, I tried to establish a bond and friendship with her because I felt that we would be good friends.

BOY, was I wrong! Things started out cool in the beginning, but then she started acting funny with me. You see, I have this guy friend who, because of her, I USED to be close with. Me and him were extremely close and tight knit, but we were JUST FRIENDS. Yet she told one of her family members that I called him a lot (like I always did) and that I wanted to be with him. I was like, “WHAT?!? Really?!?” I was so upset with her because my whole thing was, he didn’t have too much of an issue with it because he knows I like to talk. So that means that it really didn’t phase him until she said something about it. But the other thing is, we had been cool for like 2 ½ years before she met him, so what was she tripping for? And if it bothered her that much, why didn’t she say something to me instead of running off telling everyone else about it and how she felt???

And what makes it so crazy is, the night she met him, he had met up with me, her, another girl, and this girl I know that he was trying to get to know at the time. So we’re at the club having a good time and all, and while he’s dancing with the girl he knew that was with us, she got jealous!!! And I was thinking, “Ok….if I’m not mistaken, which I don’t think I am, she HAS a boyfriend, so WHY is she worried about my homeboy and what he‘s doing with someone he knew before he met her?” I just thought it was stupid, childish, and crazy ALL at the same time. Then I ended up just trying to forgive about the situation, like I’m supposed to, and move on….

So we were good for a few months, and she even ended up getting in another relationship towards the end of last year. So for some reason, her and her boyfriend decided to try and hook me up with his cousin. Now for all my TRUE friends, they know I hate that because I’m all about letting things like that happen naturally because when you try to push it into happening, it does nothing but blow up in your face. So I was hesitant, but I did start conversing with him. So like any other couple that hooks people up, they were asking us how things were going between us and everybody got along well and great.

But THEN comes the first screw-up: I get a text message from her asking me if anyone had claimed my daughter yet on their taxes. Now I knew that my grandmother had, but out of curiosity, I lied and said no. So when I asked her why, instead of answering me, she sends me a text right after my reply asking me if I claimed any money for a job from the previous year. So again I told her no, and when I asked her why she wanted to know, she tells me because her boyfriend was looking for something to claim on his taxes.

Dude….SERIOUSLY?!? And I remember sitting there just thinking, “She did NOT just ask me that for him!!!” Then there was this thing that me and the guy were trying to do on V-Day, but there were transportation issues. So the plan was that I was gonna go to my school to meet up with him so we could go to the play there that I had bought tickets for. But here’s the thing: her boyfriend lied to my guy friend and said that they weren’t going. But then he came out and told the truth that they were, but they wanted to be alone. YET, and still, they went on a double-date that night! I just couldn’t believe it. Then her boyfriend was telling him a few days after that, “I heard ya girl was down there wildin out.” REALLY?!? Cuz I don’t remember doing any “wild” things. The only thing I did was hang out with my friends.

But, all in all, I’m supposed to forgive, forget, and let go. It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m (still) working on it….

So What???

This post is dedicated to EVERYONE that has a problem with me....

So today I was having a talk with a friend of mine and we came to the conclusion that there are a lot of people who talk about me for no reason. I mean, I can understand if I did something to them, but most of the people who have been speaking about me, I have been nothing but nice to. So it's like, "Dude, what have I done to you for you to want to talk about me so much?"

But then I realized: I must be pretty important for them to take the time out of their day in an attempt to discuss my life and what's going on with me. I used to wonder why people talked about me so much because this has been happening all my life, yet about a year ago, I was like, "SCREW IT!" So what you don't like the way I dress? So what I do things that you think aren't appropriate sometimes? So what if you don't like the way I way my hair or what I do to it? Who asked you to validate me? I know good and well that it wasn't me, so just LEAVE ME ALONE!

And I know that this may offend some people, but if it does, then that just means that I was talking about you. I am sick and ired of the little kid games and the mess. If you have the balls enough to say something about me, you should have the balls enough to say it to my face as well. I do nothing but show love to people, so I would appreciate it if you showed it back. Yet if you decided to do otherwise, then that's fine, too. Just don't be TOO surprised when I attempt to rearrange your face.

Well....I have gotten (almost) everything off my chest. This isn't the end because I do have so much more I want to say, yet I just don't want to write an extremely long post. So stay tuned. Part two is up next....

Much luv (friends AND enemies),

Youneaq

*SMOOCHES*

A Time for Change

So I know it's a new year and ALMOST everyone has their infamous "New Year's Resolutions". I'm not gonna lie, though. I do have a few myself, but they're not resolutions for the new year. They're more like "Everyday Resolutions". My thing is, if you have "everyday" resolutions and you work on those for your EVERYDAY life, then you shouldn't need New Year's resolutions. And I say that because a lot of people get so caught up in this "New Year, New Me" fad that they don't end up sticking to the goals they made.



Yet here are a few "resolutions" of my own:

• Thank God for EVERYTHING as soon I wake up (and I'm fully conscious)
• Read my bible everyday
• Take time out for me when I'm not busy taking care of my daughter
• Cut off people that are no good for me
• Work out like I used to when my stitches heal
• When I get a job, work harder than I ever have before
• Don't worry about people who CLEARLY don't care about me
• Let go of grudges
• Be slow to anger
• Show unconditional love to my daughter every chance I get
• Pray EVERY NIGHT before I go to sleep....

These things I have been working on for a while, but with each growing day, I am getting better at them. I have cut off TONS of people that were no good for me and weren't going to provide anything to help me prosper in life. I mean, you HAVE TO let go of the people who do nothing but hold you down -- you know? I mean, here I was uspet with people not calling me back like they said they would, and how I felt some people were neglecting me, when it hit me -- "if you just let them go, then you won't have to worry about that anymore because if they really cared for you, then they would stay true to their word". So I let them go (male & female) and I'm moving on with my life.

As far as grudges go, that's one of the things I struggle with the most. Yet I am doing a much better job at it that I used to. So wish me luck!



Much Luv,
Youneaq
*SMOOCHES*